So you’re ready for anal huh? Here comes the sex talk conversation people don’t usually have.
First and foremost ALWAYS lubricate. Unlike the vagina, the rectum does NOT have a natural lubricant. Lack of lubrication can lead to hemorrhoids, bleeding, and tearing. Going for thicker-based lubes such as silicone will help you stay lubricated through the experience.
Level 1 – Good ol’ Fingers
Now that lube is covered, an excellent way for you and or a partner to start is by exploring anus play, by rubbing over the anus with a finger or tongue, or by sticking a finger inside. This can help you get familiar with the possible new sensation.
It’s important to be relaxed in this situation as the sphincter tightens when tense, which can cause tearing and pain. Mindset is important here, trust is important here. If you are playing solo don’t be disappointed if you didn’t go as far as you wanted, pace yourself, no one is watching. If you are with a partner create a safe word and take it slowwww.
REMINDER: If you are the one doing the penetrating continue to check in, YOU are in the position to make sure this stays safe and consensual.
Level 2 – Anal Toys
After you’ve gotten comfortable move up to anal plugs, this will help stretch your rectum and give you that full feeling allowing you to once again let your body adjust to these new sensations. Using anal beads is a GREAT way for you to get familiar with depth. Make sure your anal toys have a BASE. This will prevent toys from getting stuck inside!
Final Boss – Anal Sex Through Phallic Shape Toys and/or Penises
Once you’re comfortable with toys and fingers moving onto phallic-shaped toys or a penis is the next step! Woohoo!
A pro tip is to prepare your space. Getting your condoms unwrapped, baby wipes, lube on the side, and placing an old sheet down for easy cleanup are ways to help through the moments.
Foreplay Foreplay Foreplay is the best way to get things started. The things we learned earlier in levels 1 and 2 can be implemented at this moment before a fuller penetration. Foreplay before anal doesn’t have to be limited to the anus. Kissing, teasing, deep breaths, and vaginal and penile play can help everyone relax and dive into anal sex for a pleasurable explosion.
During anal sex, you’ll want to be very vocal during this experience. This is extremely important to not only let your partner know you’re enjoying it but if something is going wrong! If it hurts don’t continue. While pain can be part of the pleasure it shouldn’t hurt to the point where it’s no longer fun. If you feel like you’re going to poop everywhere then it’s time to stop and if your partner is going too slow or too fast you’ll want to make them aware.
If you experience some bleeding, note that it’s normal. This is a result of small tears in the anus and will heal on its own. Unless it goes on for over an hour or if it’s excessive. A hemorrhoid is very different and can be very painful but will heal. It’s important to visit a doctor if you believe you have hemorrhoids, this is nothing to be embarrassed over as doctors have seen EVERYTHING!
HYGIENE TIPS: NEVER go from anal to vaginal play. Wash your penis, toys, or hands after or you WILL risk infection. For easy clean up empty your bowels hours before anal play and wash your anal area thoroughly with soap and water. For deeper cleaning use a water enema a few hours before anal play. You do NOT need a lot. Use gloves for your hands (reminder if you use latex gloves, oil-based lubes will wear them down). Use condoms for your penis or phallic-shaped toys. Use a dental dam for tongue-to-anus play.
Accidents can still happen so if it does don’t panic, be mindful that this could happen before agreeing to anal sex. Barriers make clean-up easier, if you didn’t use any barriers wash up and shower. Remember this is a very human response.